Cold Night on I-90

COLD NIGHTS ON I-90
by a young man at CSTC, age 17

As I look out the frost-covered window
of the half-working rickety car
I wonder How did I get here?

When I was younger
my parents were together
but never together

My Mom had extended stays at the hospital
that seemed like eternities to a 6-year-old

and my Dad chose not to be around
whether or not she was here

When he was around though
time seemed to slow
and moments of pain seemed to grow

It seemed that he chose
the sensations of his own pleasure
over the safety and happiness of the children
that he willingly brought into this world

I swore to myself
that I would never look into a mirror and see
the face of my father on my own
I would never
make the mistakes that he did

Now as I drive home from therapy brought on
by these pains of the past
I look out the window as the sky darkens
and I see his face looking back at me